Silent Thorn

Mulgere Hircum means to milk a male goat (attempt the impossible). This is my writing blog. On it I shall post stories and poems I have written every week.

I will be posting a chapter of my new book "silent thorn" each week. It is basically about a woman who loses her daughter and goes travelling around the world with her life savings. Many of the countries I'll be describing I haven't been to, so I would be grateful to find out from others who have been to those countries if I have done them Justice.

Silent Thorn

Prologue
Cancer is a silent thorn. By the time she got diagnosed with leukemia it was too late. I lost her.Emily (or Ems, as she preferred) was my baby. She was all I had in the world. It makes tears roll down my cheeks even now when I think about how early she was taken from this world. Sixteen is no age to die. I constantly wish it could have been me instead of her. The pain of losing my child, my Ems, is far greater than death, I'm sure. I sometimes think I would be better off dead, but I know Ems would hate this. She wouldn't want me to give up on life just because she had died. It wouldn't be fair on her. I blame myself for her death. I'm a nurse, for goodness sake! I should have spotted the symptoms earlier on. But I didn't. That is a fact I wish I could change, but I can't.

I haven't been in her room since she died. She passed away in my arms in that room. I don't want to relive that. In the days before her death, she had been sleepy constantly and was hard to wake up. She lost her appetite, and when she did eat she found it hard to swallow. She even fainted a couple of times a day. I knew her life was coming to it's end, but I didn't want her in hospital for her last few days of life. She always hated hospitals. I've grown to hate them now too. There is just too much pain associated with them. It is a problem because I work in a hospital. Well, worked, I've had to quit my job. I couldn't deal with it.

Now I have no ties, no family, no work, nothing keeping at home. It doesn't feel like home without her anyway. I've decided to use my life savings to travel around the world. I've remortgaged the house. She always wanted to travel, see the world, so I'm going to travel for her. Experience what she couldn't experience. I know it's what she would want me to do. She wouldn't want me to stop enjoying life because she died. Ad infinitum.